wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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