it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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