If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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