me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
