he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
