dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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