i already hear my dad disowning me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
