And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize