Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
