Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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