i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
