Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
