Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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