You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
