Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
