when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize