Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
