I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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