im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
