Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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