Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
