Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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