she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
