Midget sex pt 2 tonight
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
