they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
