HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
