I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
