and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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