we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
