Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
