Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Mom said you looked used
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize