I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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