You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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