he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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