herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
