dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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