i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
