I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
