Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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