Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
