He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
