kristin has been a bad kristin
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
