whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
