I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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