oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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