Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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