keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i think im in europe. pls send help
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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