I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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