If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
