I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You dont lie about slip and slides
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
