he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
