No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
