So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
