Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
