Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
