I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
