i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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