make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
