I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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