but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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