I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
