If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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